8.12.2018

Unexpectedly Expecting

After two years of infertility, five rounds of Clomid, two failed IUIs, an HSG, too many ultrasounds to count, being referred to the U of I, and a round of IVF to get little Miss Claire, I feel like I am now living in the world of make believe.  As much as I didn't want it to, infertility became a part of who I am and totally shaped the future Ryan and I planned for ourselves.

When Claire came, we felt complete.  After the journey to get her in my arms came to a close, I knew I never wanted to take that trip again.  It was too hard - hard on my body, hard on our marriage, hard on my anxiety/depression.  We resolved to being a family of three.  Knowing that infertility in the past does not guarantee infertility in the future, I took measures to prevent pregnancy for my own mental health.  I didn't want the temptation of secretly hoping it would happen, even though we had decided we were happy with one child.  My decision to remove the IUD had to do with it's side effects, and we were in the process of deciding what to try next.

Ryan will thank me for not going into too many details of how very confident he was that we could not pregnant without assistance, but let's just say that he was very wrong! 😉
Finding out I was pregnant caught me COMPLETELY off guard.  You guys - it is the weirdest feeling having been through two extremes of the pregnancy journey. But when I saw that little peanut on the ultrasound, I wanted to take it back any negative emotions I felt (to be detailed in a later post).  Ryan and I didn't think we wanted two kids, but God knew we needed two.  The realization that Claire is going to be a sister almost made my heart stop - she is going to be amazing!  And what a gift to give her, a sibling.  

I am still grappling with conflicting feelings about whether or not I am ready for this or if this timing is right, but I am recognizing the blessing that we have been given and do not want to take this for granted.  **(This is a hard announcement to make, when I know what infertility does to a person.  I recognize that my friends who want to be pregnant are going to have a hard time being happy for me.  But all I ask is that you don't shut me out completely - my feelings of being infertile are still raw and I will still support you in every way I can.  Just know that I see you, I'm here for you, and I understand how hard this is for you.)

My feelings of guilt are subsiding and making way for joy, anticipation, and gratefulness.  Baby #2 is due on February 24th, so I have plenty of time to focus on the positives and mentally prepare for this change.  I am so blessed to have two little miracles in my life - Claire, and baby #2!

This new adventure is about to begin - bring it on!

7.25.2018

Currently Reading July 2018

Just an update on the current books lying around my house, in my purse, in my car, and next to Claire's bed! :)

Unwind by Neil Shusterman

Listen, Love, Repeat by Karen Ehman


The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** by Mark Manson


I Am Truly by Kelly Greenawalt

Have you read any of these books before? What did you think? What are you currently reading?

4.18.2018

Currently Reading April 2018

I can never just read one book at a time.  I always have some combination of nonfiction, fiction, and self-help/faith driven books, as well as a blog, and my favorite kid's book I'm reading with Claire.  So why not share what I'm currently reading? Maybe we can discuss together!

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama
The Cult of Pedagogy Blog
Big Words for Little People by Jamie Lee Curtis
What are you currently reading?

1.30.2018

Some Things Have Happened (Part Two)

2017

  • I had the chance to participate at the CEW at St. Ann's in a meaningful way.  It was awesome!
  • I went to the Behavior Conference in Kansas City and had a chance to connect with my aunts while I was down there.
  • We had a fun Easter, Claire loved the Easter Egg hunt!
  • I joined Farrell's Extreme Bodyshaping and got in shape, lost some weight, and started taking better care of myself!
  • After many ear infections, Claire visited an ENT and she got tubes in her ears.
  • Ryan and I took our first vacation away from Claire and enjoyed four nights in Boston while Claire enjoyed time with her grandparents and aunt and uncle.

  • We had an awesome summer than concluded with a trip to the Ozarks and Claire being the flower girl in my aunts' wedding!
  • My nephew, and Godson, was born at the beginning of September and all of hearts grew three sizes!
  • Fall brought us Halloween, and weekend getaway in Nashville, and Claire's second birthday, which we celebrated at the Iowa Children's Museum in Iowa City.
  • We concluded 2017 with some family pictures taken by my amazing mother (if you want contact info, let me know!) and a super fun Christmas with family!

1.24.2018

Some Things Have Happened (Part One)

Hi there!  So...it's January...of 2018...TWO. THOUSAND. EIGHTEEN.  I've been thinking about making a blog post pretty ever since my last blog post, in August of 2015.  But then, I had a baby.  You'd think that would be the perfect time to want to keep up the blog, but holy crap; that little girl took over my life.  Add that to my first few years of teaching and taking grad classes, and yeah, the blog sat on the back burner for awhile.  And ultimately, the blog was forgotten about.  Whoops.

But here I am, wishing I was better about documenting my life, Claire's life, our family adventures, my teaching experiences, etc., without putting it all over Facebook and Instagram.  So I'm going to give this another go.  And I'm going to TRY to keep it up, with a little more focus.

Here's the quick and dirty update (since my last update in August of 2015)-

2015

  • Started my first year of teaching at Bettendorf High School.
  • Thoroughly, honestly, enjoyed the last few months of my pregnancy (until the last two weeks).
  • Had Claire Lindsey in November. She was 9 pounds 2 ounces, 21 inches long, with a head full of gorgeous hair!
  • My grandma passed away in November. I miss her every single day.
2016
  • This year revolved around Claire - what a whirlwind it was to watch her fly through all of the milestones and become the cutest, smartest, sweetest, and most perfect little girl in the world.
  • Claire had her first flight as we took our first big family vacation to Las Vegas and San Diego.

  • We celebrated Claire's first birthday with a dinosaur princess themed party and close family members.  The year went insanely fast, but was wonderful.